A Preemptive Strike on Mutiny

You know it’s going to be a tough WOD when Coach tells everyone not to roll their eyes or sigh before he even announces the Rx weight.  “It sounds heavy, but hear me out.”

He’s hilarious.  For a power clean/front squat combo, he was prescribing 185/135.  Um… I definitely can’t clean 135.  Last time I tried, I couldn’t even clean 95 (I probably could now; I didn’t try last night).  I was paired up with Jessie; she can’t clean 135 (or 95) either.  So we made a good team.  Last night’s WOD The First was an EMOM 10–2 power cleans and 1 front squat.  I started off cleaning 85, but after a few rounds I wasn’t able to get under it anymore.  I can’t blame heat or humidity this time, because the weather yesterday was almost chilly (what up, July); I just got tired.  So Jessie continued lifting 85, and I just bumped it down to 75 for my remaining rounds.  And wouldn’t you know it, 75 felt a little too light… I’m just waiting for someone to start calling me Goldilocks, because that crap happens all.the.time.  “Why isn’t there a 13″ box?”  “I wish we had a 32# kettlebell.”  “The blue band is too hard, but the blue band with the green band is too easy.”  It will be nice when I can just Rx things and stop worrying about it.

The reason he had prescribed such a high weight was so that the other half of the WOD would feel “easy.”  Well, I was neither sweating balls nor sucking air after the first part, and I was doing both of those things after about a minute on the second part, so you tell me what was easy.  WOD The Second was a 21-15-9 burpee bar jump/front squat combo, RX 95/65.  Sigh.  Burpees.  Nobody likes them but they always show up to play, and they don’t have any other friends, so you kind of feel bad for them, and you invite them along even though you really wish they would stay in their mom’s basement and play video games in the dark.  Also they’re kind of mean.  And yet we let them play.  Sometimes they even get picked first!  What is that.

Anyway.  Burpee bar jumps, followed by front squats.  I was actually doing more-or-less okay with the burpees; I didn’t have to break up any sets, and I wasn’t exactly jumping over the bar, but it was more than a step.  Sort of a skippety-hop (or maybe a hoppity-skip, I’m not sure).  My life flashed before my eyes with each one, too, because it wouldn’t be hard at all for me to trip over the bar and go tits-over-teakettle. 

I started off with the Rx weight on the front squats.  WOOHOO!!!  Getting closer and closer to being able to Rx “sometimes” instead of just “when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars on Leap Day when Sasquatch and Nessie have Yeti over for tea.”  That lasted for a whole 10 of 21 reps.  I had a 53# bar set up nearby “just in case” so I moved over to that.  I don’t know what it is about those 21-15-9 WODs, but when you’re in the thick of it, it feels like you’re going on for ages and ages.  It felt like there was significant planetary rotation that happened between “3… 2… 1… GO” and the last g-d rep of those g-d front squats, but really it was only about 8 minutes, 41 seconds’ worth.

Today my ass and quads hurt like a sonofabitch.  I really didn’t expect that.  It’s weird… some WODs I expect to hurt like hell don’t ever amount to much, and others that seem pretty cut-and-dry will beat the shit out of me.  And I can’t seem to predict it with any real accuracy.

Anyway, we’ve got today’s WOD in about an hour.  The weather is still nice and cool (and weird) so I wouldn’t mind at all if we ran.  I don’t want to squat, or clean, or do wall balls, OR BURPEES… but anything else would be swell.  Except snatches.  I don’t want to do snatches, either.

Or burpees.  Did I say that?  I don’t want to do burpees.

No burpees.


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